It’s easy to get caught up with thinking that everything has to be done in the ‘perfect moment’ or at the ‘right’ time. Lately, I’ve been questioning what that means, and if there ever is just a moment where communicating how you feel for the first time, to your significant other, isn’t going to feel painfully awkward or embarrassing.
I know you should probably feel 100% comfortable talking about everything with your boyfriend/girlfriend/situation (?) – because if not, why are you with them? However, part of me reasons and believes that although this is true, we all have our fears. News Flash! I have my fears. I think there’s a part of me deep down that’s a teeny tiny bit afraid of giving every bit of myself to someone – does anyone else relate?
I’ve not engaged in many serious relationships and I feel at a crossroads of should I treat this person like a friend and go about it the same way in which I would with my bestie – usually just blurting things out because I hate thinking things and not sharing them – or should there be a more thoughtful consideration of: would this person share with me 100% what they’re thinking, are there things that they might be afraid to share also, and are they going to receive what I have to say in the way that I want?
It may not be so much finding the right words to say (trust me that part comes easy) but finding the right way and time to say it. Do you communicate via text or phone call? This would be my go-to, however, it’s easy for things to be misunderstood and misconstrued. Do you approach these ‘deeper’ topics over lunch or dinner? Could be very intense and awkward if the reaction isn’t what you want, could also go the opposite way and be great (lol, you never know – do you see my dilemma!). Or, do you wait for the post-coital cool down and start blabbering on about your feelings then? Can’t say I’ve personally done this but I can definitely see how this again could go either way.
I’m not too sure that the right moment does exist and it’s something I’m still trying to figure out since I’ve definitely got more questions than answers. But, what I do know though, and this may be hypocritical to say, is that I’d rather someone be straight up and honest with me first so that I can then act accordingly depending on how they’re feeling.
But that’s just my opinion, what’s yours?