#SkypeBae: How to stay connected with your lover during quarantine
Text Elisheba Akalawu
It’s been a couple weeks since our global community has been encouraged to social-distance and stay at home to prevent further spreading of Covid-19. For many, this will mean going a while without physically being with their boo. If you and your partner have never had to go more than a few days without seeing each other, then it might come as a shock to the system and take some time getting used to. It shouldn’t mean the end of your relationship (obv), but if you’re in the honeymoon stage, been together for years or in a situationship (aren’t we all lol), it’s definitely going to be different. However, just because you won’t be able to be physically intimate, this time is great to explore, challenge and strengthen your non-sexual intimacy. It’s a time to be patient with, attentive to and aware of your partner and yourself; gain insight into your partner’s mind, learn something new about each other, and take the time to appreciate what he/she/they mean to you.
In times like these I’ve never been more thankful for technology. At the tips of our fingers are a multitude of opportunities to still be together despite the distance. If you’re looking for a way to spice up those quarantine FaceTimes or feel a little bit stuck in connecting with your loved one, then look no further because you know NBGA always has your back! We’ve rounded up some ideas that will get you and your partner connecting on and offline – let us know if any of these work for you via our instagram @nbga.mag.
Let’s talk about what’s probably the most used form of communication – video calls. There’s soo many apps out there that ease the difficulty of being apart. Whether you’re a Zoomer, Houseparty-er, Skyper, Whatsapper or FaceTimer (trust me the list goes on) it’s 100x better getting to see your person and hearing them at the same time. If you’re in the early stages of dating then this will probably suit you best. Video chat is a way that you guys can talk, connect and really get to know each other; if your partner has never been to your house give them a house tour, introduce them to your pet (and/or family if you’re at that stage), teach them something, do a quiz. This also works for couples in long-term relationships but if you feel like you’re running out of ideas, read on!
So it’s been a couple weeks, the good morning/ good night texts may feel a little stale and you feel like you’re drifting from your partner? It’s time to change it up. Switch that good morning text to a good morning video, send voice notes of random thoughts you’ve had (uh did anyone know that a strawberry isn’t actually a berry?? I know, wtf), create meme’s and private jokes with your partner or just send pics throughout the day of the different activities you’re trying out. It’s not about being in constant contact with each other – let’s face it, there’s only so much you’re going to be doing when stuck indoors – but it is important that both of you are feeling comfortable and secure that a little distance isn’t going to interfere with the progress of the relationship. Be really attentive to each other’s needs; this is a great opportunity to take a love language quiz so you guys can be attuned to what these needs are.
We all know what a sext is, and have probably taken and sent a few nudes in our time, but this isn’t the only way to inspire and initiate non-physical sexual intimacy. Take it offline and send your partner a steamy love letter and encourage them to send one back. Get creative and let your imagination run wild – I mean what else are you going to do? If the art of letter writing isn’t really your thing, then make it a thing! If all else fails, then definitely turn up the heat on iMessage with sexual innuendos, provactive descriptions and sexy puns – now is not the time to be shy. Explore each other in a way that doesn’t require touch – sexual desire, for some, is a kind of fuel that keeps the flame alive! So let it burn, baby, burn.
Shared experiences are the perfect way to bond with your partner and can be done in so many different ways. If you are FaceTiming with each other, try and do activities such as baking or cooking together, learn a new recipe and enjoy a glass of wine, bake a new dessert and add a little healthy competition to it, have an art lesson and draw each other – it’s these sorts of shared experiences for others that is the glue that keeps the relationship strong. When you’re not talking on the phone try reading the same books, recommend tv shows, movies and podcasts to each other, create a shared playlist that you both add your fave tracks of the moment to. When you’re both engaging in similar things at the same time during the day there’s an unseen connection you’re creating, as well as the opportunity to develop more in common, that then translates to your daily conversations and gives you fresh topics to talk about.
Not being together shouldn’t be an excuse to skip everyone’s fave night of the week: date night! If you and your partner enjoy wining and dining, going to the movies or visiting galleries together, don’t let the distance stop you. Try out some of the suggested video chat tips such as cooking a meal and eating together, Netflix Party is the new and improved way to enjoy movies and shows together complete with a messaging feature so you both can interact when the juicy parts come on, or do something you probably both have never done and take a virtual guided museum tour, or a tour of famous landmarks around the world together; from the The Vatican in Rome, The Louvre in Paris and The Acropolis in Athens to the Natural History Museum in London or the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam – the possibilities are endless- just because you are physically out of reach don’t let it be an excuse to not explore, learn and do things together. A useful tool is Google Arts and Culture which has made searching for museums and exhibitions a breeze, offering a compilation of 500+ art institutions from around the world. You’re welcome.