Sometimes, as hard as we try not to, we can feel pressured into believing that one way of living is the only way of living possible or valid for us. Before the arrival of Valentine’s Day, let’s explore the sometimes pervasive pressures of relationship culture. Often in mainstream media such as film culture, Instagram and more recently, Tik-Tok culture, the romanticization of being a part of a “couple” is depicted as the most mode way of living. But actually, for the singletons out there in 2021 let’s release the pressure of being in union with another, and instead value the true art of being single.
Here are 5 top tips to enjoy being single to rise into your highest self:
- Getting to know yourself, inside and out
When you’re single this is the perfect time to get to know who you truly are! Self-development is the ideal theme that comes to mind. What is better than knowing what you truly like, love, dislike, and can’t stand? To know yourself inside and out is the starting point for evolving into your highest self. This means that you’ll be able to set clear boundaries with future partners, and accept energy that is on the same frequency as yours because you know what works best for you.
2. Enjoying your own company
When was the last time you took yourself out on a date? Have you been waiting for the perfect moment for someone else to suggest it to you? Well the art of being single is to take control of your happiness and do what makes you feel good in the now. The best way to describe this is to live your own movie. Imagine yourself as the main character when visiting a gallery, going to the cinema, or casually walking around a park and enjoying nature. Now, more than ever is the time to get in touch with the activities which you enjoy doing and making a conscious effort to value the time that you have to do them.
3. Being a Self-sufficient Queen
To be self-sufficient is to truly value your inner power. Positive affirmations such as: “I am enough!” are a lovely starting point into the journey of realising the beauty of our own unique and individual energies. An interesting visualisation technique to consider is the Taoist value, Yin and Yang which is an ancient Chinese philosophy that centres around the importance duality. Yin is described as darkness, whereas Yang is lightness. This is relevant when considering the light and shade that we all carry within us. We all have flaws, and likewise we all have wonderful talents and things that make us special. It is through accepting these individual qualities that will enable us to live in a harmonious vibration of self-sufficiency.
4. Healing and Growth
As much as I loved the 2007 drama series Gossip Girl and enjoyed watching the romantic journey between Blair and Chuck unfold, more recently I was listening to a podcast which mentioned the covert toxicity surrounding their relationship. If you haven’t seen Gossip Girl a short synopsis of their connection was that it was largely a push and pull relationship of making each other jealous on purpose and one minute being infatuated with each other to then, despising and self-sabotaging the connection. This isn’t the first example of popular culture representing love that is rooted in toxic tendencies, whilst simultaneously glamorising it. It’s therefore important to consider the messages of love that we receive from the world around us, and how we are responding to that in the connections in our lives. Perhaps being out of a relationship is new to you – is there something that you still need to heal from or a habit that you need to grow out of? When you’re single, you can reflect on the past to best grow into the future.
5. Becoming the best version of you
To strive for perfection is unrealistic and arguably tiresome. Instead of reaching for someone outside of yourself, accept who you are, as you are – this is a true reward. When you’re single you can become the best version of yourself by being the most authentic and genuine to who you are. In doing so, you’ll start to love and admire yourself for your individuality and the things that make you so wonderful. This is a positive, energetic vibration which the universe loves to see for you. It is through admiration, gratitude, self-love and empowerment where the true art of being single appears. When we love ourselves to the highest degree, we are energetically aligning with our highest selves. This means that our love energy is attractive and actually we are in a vibration which will attract more love and light into our lives. And even, a potential partner (because we are not seeking it and we know that we have the love already within us!).
And remember, be a bad bitch not a sad bitch.